The Coffee Shop Problem

I am a poet, and I love coffee shops. I love to sit there for hours and read, journal, write poems, think about the mystery of the universe, procrastinate.

I love coffee shop sounds: the beans grinding, the foam frothing, the music providing just the right volume and background.

Staying in a coffee shop for hours poses two problems: the bathroom and food.

The bathroom. Easily solved. You sit down, settle in, and start scoping out fellow café people to see who looks reliable. Eventually, after one cup or two, it’s time to use the facilities. You pack away your cell phone, minimize documents on the laptop, and lean over/walk over to reliable person and ask them if they can keep an eye on your stuff. They almost always say yes, and off you go, hoping your stranger-thief instinct is on target. You come back, your stuff in place, say thank you, and inevitably watch the stranger’s items if they partake.

Food poses a difficult problem. I am like a hobbit. I require first breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, etc. Coffee shops often have interesting pastry choices to ply you with sugar and fat and keep you working/reading/procrastinating, but they are rarely vegan (I can’t really say never). When I go into a coffee shop, I am almost resigned to a bagel, or, if I’m lucky, a prepackaged cookie.

Let’s talk bagels. I love them. They are yummy. They fill you up, especially if the coffee shop has peanut butter. However, if that’s the only thing you can buy in a coffee shop, they get boring and you start to resent them, i.e. If all they have are bagels, I’m going to growl at that barista.

I am not a low-cal-fat-free-all-the-time-healthy vegan. I like me a fresh muffin, a chocolate chip cookie, maybe even a scone. Here in Chicago, there are some coffee shops where I frequent because I know they have something I can partake in (if I get there early enough that things are not gone): Atomix on Chicago, Dollop on Clarendon, Argo Tea (lot of locations). I’m sure there are others, but these are my mainstays of coffee shop bliss.

Coffee shops, take notice. I guarantee that I will buy a vegan goodie if you have one. I will even buy one if I’m not hungry and save it for later. I don’t want to bring a Clif Bar to your establishment. I really don’t want a bagel.

If you are a coffee shop in Chicago, you have no excuse. Call the Chicago Diner, call Bleeding Heart Bakery. If you’re not in Chicago, I bet there’s a vegan restaurant or bakery near you that you didn’t even know existed. Use the Google. Love the Google. I want to buy from you. Help me out a little.